Intimacy. Is it important? Can it make or break a relationship? There are so many forms of intimacy such as sexual,physical,intellectual,emotional and spiritual. Intimacy is definitely not an easy task when life just simply gets in the way. So in order to understand some things I got a male/female perspective on the topic. Feel free to chime in if you like.
How do men/women feel when a man/woman isn’t being intimate with them?
F-“As a woman, I know sometimes we feel like we are less than.” “We feel that maybe there’s someone else.” “Yes its silly bit its honest.”
M- “It can depend on a lot on the other areas of the relationship.” ” If all other areas are ok, then it could be small changes such as schedules.” Maybe she is tired a lot of the time.” “Maybe the time when you’re ready, she isn’t and vice versa.” ” If other areas aren’t well,maybe she’s losing feelings, love, attractiveness for you.” “Maybe you don’t turn her on any more, she feels the love is gone, etc.” ” Finally insecurity for her,maybe you don’t touch her like you used to, pay attention to her, compliment her or make her feel sexy so she steers from that department.’
Does the ego take a shot when this occurs?
F- “Oh definitely”! “We as women pride ourselves on being strong independent creatures”. “Not being fully there for our men definitely could change all that”
M- “Depends on maturity level and self confidence; personally I doubt it.” “My ego wouldn’t.” ” I’m confident and mature enough to accept whatever the reasoning could be.”
Does the option to cheat come as a solution quicker then actually finding out the issue? And if so why?
F-“Unfortunately sometimes yes.” Women love attention.” “We love to feel needed, useful and important” “I always felt if a woman cheated ,its because something was emotionally lacking”. “We tie intimacy to emotions, so to some it would make perfect sense to seek it somewhere else.”
M- “It can.” ” Although cheating may temporarily fix a man’s desire for sex, the mature man knows it doesn’t fix the problem”. “In fact he would know that it would only bring about more and who needs that? ” “Instead he tries to find a solution with his lady to hopefully resolve the issue for a long term solution. ”
Do you think men or women take it harder when intimacy becomes a challenge?
J- “I can only speak from a females point of view,so I say its probably us”. “It doesn’t go for all women because we all aren’t wired the same way.” “For some women ,if they feel like they aren’t all the women we need to be ,it really takes a toll”. “As for me personally and probably many other women out there, they may feel like its your loss”.
M- “Personal answer on who takes it harder!!” ” I could be wrong. Women tend to take things more emotionally.” ” I would think that women would be quicker to assume there’s cheating based on their own insecurities rather than them understanding each others schedules, fatigue, etc.” “It can be an underlying cause.” “Personally I would try to determine if internal factors would be causing the issue before I go with outside factors (i.e. other people).”
Finally, do you think maturity plays a role in resolving this issue?
F- “Absolutely”! “I’m definitely a believer in having a necessary conversation”. “My belief is that, once I express my feelings to you and there’s not even a inkling of change,then you simply don’t care”. “All it takes is effort”.
M- “Pretty much everything as far as how to handle it depends on your maturity level.”
So do you agree or disagree with the points made today? Did it help you view intimacy in a different way? Let us know your thoughts.
All comments are welcome….