Tag Archives: conversation

Let’s Have  Conversation : Relationship Deal Breakers

janae

So your new to the dating scene or maybe getting back out there. What are your deal breakers? What are the things you just won’t tolerate? For everyone its different of course, but I’ve heard some very similar answers recently that I would love to share with y’all.

1. Smokers or drug users

There are times you can tell right away whether someone smokes, drinks or does drugs. But sometimes, this information takes time to emerge. Or you might know about it but think it will be okay. Then you realize that it is getting in the way of the relationship. Be honest about how you feel on this because its not ok to put your feelings aside if its that important.

2. Children

The issue of having children needs to be dealt with early in a relationship. If you really want children and your partner says he or she doesn’t, do not count on this changing. So many people get into relationships hoping that they can change their partners mind. It can definitely cause a rift in the relationship and possibly to end. Listen to your partner and really decide if your really ok with the possibility of not having children.

3. Money

Now this is a big one. First things first, if your a saver and your partner is a spender, this can cause many relationship problems. Sometimes this can be solved ahead of time when the spender agrees to let the saver manage the money. But if the spender is addicted to spending , this isn’t going to work. You have to decide if you can deal with this or not. If your trying to build a future, then this definitely needs to be talked about.

4. Cheating

Last but not least, if you find out that your partner has cheated you have a decision to make. Some people in this situation give their partner another chance. But others move on if they find out that their partner has cheated. If it seems hopeless like its no break in sight, do what you need to do to keep your peace. Just let it go. Now if you both decide to go into counseling and do the deep work necessary to heal the underlying issues, then go for it!

Comment below with your deal breakers and lets discuss.

TOXIC…….ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FOR YOU

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Have you ever wondered if the people you surround your self with are for you? Some of us have had life long connections and base it solely on longevity instead of quality. You may not even know your doing it because you see it as LOYALTY! Loyalty, lets discuss that. Loyalty is a strong feeling of support. Support of your significant other, family and friends. The feeling that no matter what they have your back and best interest at heart. Now in your relationships,can you say you have that with no doubt in your mind? Mmmm pretty deep huh? If you can’t then you might have a case of a toxic relationship/friendship. Most people can’t recognize a toxic relationship because of a number of things. It could be longevity, thinking a little drama is normal or lastly denial. Now every relationship has it’s moments but don’t confuse it with toxicity. Here are some ways to figure out if you have a toxic relationship /friendship:
•Does the person depend on you for everything and could care less about what you need?
•Do you sometimes dread their presence?
•Is it always drama whenever your together?
•Does your relationship jump from great to horrible with no in between?
•When there is an issue, is it always your fault?
•Last but not least. CAN YOU TRUST THEM?
If your having any of these issues then a conversation needs to be had immediately. Speaking from personal experience communication is EVERYTHING! Now don’t jump ship yet. If you can have the conversation and see changes then there’s hope. But if your trying to communicate your needs and it’s not being received, then leave that toxic mess right there and NEVER LOOK BACK!

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~Janae

 

GAY & LESBIAN VS. Religion, IS THERE A LINE TO BE DRAWN?

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Now I try to answer all questions that are asked by viewers. This one by far is the most interesting but also controversial. I hope everyone can join the conversation and add some insight to what is about to be asked. The question asked to Thickly Tat’d WHAT’S HOT CHRONICLES IS:
“I have another question that I think a lot of us struggle with. If you’re a Christian, how do you handle one of the biggest controversies, supporting your lesbian and/or gay friends and family members while following God’s law. Let’s be honest. It’s okay to “crucify” liars, drunkards, fornicators, adulterers, murders, and people with other “ungodly” struggles, but people who express their feelings about the LGBT as it relates to religion are verbally stoned. Any thoughts?”

My honest opinion which I provided was that I love people for who they are, I have gay friends that i adore out of this world no matter what my religion. It is not my place to judge them or crucify them. They are people too and you just let people be who they are. At the end of the day, on judgment day THEY DO NOT STAND IN FRONT OF YOU TO BE JUDGED, THEY STAND IN FRONT OF HIM..

But that is just my opinion!
Join the conversation and add your opinions, its ok to have a voice and to feel however you feel.
If you want to be kept anonymous then send your comments to thicklytatd@gmail.com and I will post.
Thank you for the continuing support
Thickly Yours
Tamika Mys’Tique