Tag Archives: Relationship Advice

Let’s Have  Conversation : Relationship Deal Breakers

janae

So your new to the dating scene or maybe getting back out there. What are your deal breakers? What are the things you just won’t tolerate? For everyone its different of course, but I’ve heard some very similar answers recently that I would love to share with y’all.

1. Smokers or drug users

There are times you can tell right away whether someone smokes, drinks or does drugs. But sometimes, this information takes time to emerge. Or you might know about it but think it will be okay. Then you realize that it is getting in the way of the relationship. Be honest about how you feel on this because its not ok to put your feelings aside if its that important.

2. Children

The issue of having children needs to be dealt with early in a relationship. If you really want children and your partner says he or she doesn’t, do not count on this changing. So many people get into relationships hoping that they can change their partners mind. It can definitely cause a rift in the relationship and possibly to end. Listen to your partner and really decide if your really ok with the possibility of not having children.

3. Money

Now this is a big one. First things first, if your a saver and your partner is a spender, this can cause many relationship problems. Sometimes this can be solved ahead of time when the spender agrees to let the saver manage the money. But if the spender is addicted to spending , this isn’t going to work. You have to decide if you can deal with this or not. If your trying to build a future, then this definitely needs to be talked about.

4. Cheating

Last but not least, if you find out that your partner has cheated you have a decision to make. Some people in this situation give their partner another chance. But others move on if they find out that their partner has cheated. If it seems hopeless like its no break in sight, do what you need to do to keep your peace. Just let it go. Now if you both decide to go into counseling and do the deep work necessary to heal the underlying issues, then go for it!

Comment below with your deal breakers and lets discuss.

Mani Hendrixx: THE GREAT DEBATE, Part 1

Since the beginning, men and women were place on this earth to coexist and learn to love one another; whether we’ve passed or failed that test is still up for debate. In today’s society, there are plenty of different types of relationships, will I name them? Hell no, because nobody got time for that. The definition of relationship is: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. However that relates to you and your situation, figure it out. As I get older I find it a little easier to understand the male mind, from a non-emotional state.

Woman and men fault when the relationship finally boils over. Ladies do you want to know the key to happiness? Shut up and stop over thinking. Simple right, just like men. Guys are simple as 1, 2, 3 and we make it more complex by trying to over analyze. Let’s start from the beginning; there are stages in a relationship right: “chilling” phase, dating, and then finally admitting to a relationship. How long these phases last completely depend on the type of woman that you are and man that he is. There’s literally an ample amount of angles I can cross, so I’ll try to keep it simple, bear with me. Guys, can you ALL do us a favor and stop lying?! As most of you already know, and are quite good at it, lying keeps us in the dark (obvious).  If you don’t want a relationship, tell her. If you lead a woman on into thinking that there is a possibility of more she will take that and RUN with it. What woman doesn’t wasn’t a relationship? We crave special love and attention from someone we care about and if we’re feeling you, we’ll seek it. Ladies this is where you fault: your emotions make you dumb.  As harsh as it may sound, that’s exactly how I meant it. I include myself under that umbrella as well; our emotions take over and suddenly it’s all about him. A boy will keep taking what you give and not give back in return; a man will let you know “This is not what I’m here for.”  Some women get easily attached, hop from relationship to relationship and wonder why the end up hurt. That is your own fault, no one else.  When you skip over the dating phase you’re only cheating yourself in figuring out the guys true intentions with you. No man, in his right mind, will hop in a relationship because the sex is good. You are not the only woman with a mouth and a stove and they will try as many as possible to get what they’re looking for.

Our generation and the next have been subjects to the standers “relationship goals.” Where is the pressure coming from?  Yep, social media.  It’s amazing how we develop “goals” on love from an app instead of making our own.

Thickly Yours,

Mani Hendrixx

For Topic ideas and questions send email to thicklytatdmani@gmail.com